I'm A Fuckin Bitch

They knew who I am. But I don't even know myself like they knew me. I never pretend to be someone else. Fuck no!
They said, I'm mentally sick to death being a super freak. But don't call me a freak b'cuz I'm just a weak human like you. Human is human, Human is not god. But many people never pay attention about the meaning of that words.
My friends. All gone. They don't want to meet me anymore. They left me with the same fuckin' reason. I make them 'sick'. Sometimes I think, how did it happen? I never feel that I've done something wrong or hurt their feelings, you know. I don't want to do that and I'm not gonna fuckin' do that. What the fuck is matter with them? Well, I know. They don't want to be friends with a fuckin' loser. Well, I'm totally 100% fuckin' loser, maybe. So, all of you are free to judge me anything you want. I'm not gonna take a revenge. I'm not that kind of person. I will keep silent and watching you go up away high while I'm falling down. It's OK if I lost everything as long as I don't lost my body, my soul and my life.
What is perfection? I never know. I think, perfection is something that can make someone adores you, admire you. I don't have perfection, like some people said ; "Nobody's perfect". Are you 100% perfect? If yes, I feel happy too. I will adore you... That's my thought about perfection. Well, I'm not perfect. Maybe I said it wrong. Maybe you can describe 'what is perfection' better than me...
What is destruction? Well.. Before I say to you what I think of 'what is destruction', I will warn you one more time, don't you ever think that my opinions are perfect, good or right. Maybe you can explain better than me 'what is destruction'. We're different people with different opinion, right? OK. I repeat... What is destruction? I think, destruction is something that can make someone spit on you, hate you, compare you with shit, dirt, trash, failure. Like me. I am Ms. Self Destruct. I'm very close to destruction. No loving parents, no loving friends, no lovers. Nothing. They all run away from me. B'cuz I'm a fuckin' bitch. Well, honestly, me myself, never feel that I'm a fuckin' bitch. I say that myself to b'cuz so many people see me as a fuckin' bitch. You can say, I'm a fuckin' bitch, but as a matter fact I'm not. That's how I feel.
What kind of words suitable for me? (Not me calling myself but how they calling me). So many bad words. Such as bastard, liar, loser, bitch? You name it. Up to you. But if I tell you what kind of person I am, probably you won't believe it. Honestly, I don't want to make people disappointed. I'm not a liar. I don't want to hurt people's feeling and I never want to use them for my necessity. No, I would never do that. I don't want to see people hurt each other and start a war or mass debating. I don't want it, do you? I have respect. I respect everybody, no matter how bad the person is. I don't give a damn if I talk to criminals, whores, losers, liars, beggars, etc etc... I give respect to them. And I also will give my respect to you too, never call you my enemy or dumber. B'cuz...you know.. How does it feel when someone treated you without respect? Ignore you? Get away from you? It huts! It hurt so bad!