Asu...
Bulan ini kok otakku rasanya buntu...
Ndak bisa bikin lagu...
Males mlaku-mlaku...
Kerjanya cuma turu dan dengerin lagu...
Pingin lemu juga nggak lemu-lemu...
Aku memang wagu...
Asu..
Ndlogok...
Beberapa hari ini aku kayak orang pekok...
Otakku rasanya bobrok...
Ndlogok...
Bajindul...
Dari kemaren pikirannya nggandul...
Bajindul...
Sialan...
Dari kemaren aku ndak doyan makan...
Kerjanya cuman nongkrong di depan...
Kayak wong edan...
Ndak ada teman...
Ndak bisa mikir tenanan...
Males omongan
Sialan...
Bangsat...
Banyak yang utang aku, sekarang aku jadi mlarat...
Kepala rasanya kok jadi berat...
Aku sekarat...
Sudah kehilangan bakat...
Bangsat...
Brengseks...
Ndak bisa nge-seks...
Brengseks...
Bajingan...
Sudah tau salah masih diteruskan...
Tapi kalo gak diteruskan kok rasanya eman-eman..
Bajingan...
Hehehe...
Gawe syair kok dipeksakke..
Uelik dadine...
AKU GILA
| Labels: stress | 0 comments
Dia bertanya. Aku ini anak siapa?
Aku tak tahu harus menjawab bagaimana. Bapak dan ibu seperti bukan bapak dan ibuku.
Dia bertanya. Aku sekolah di mana?
Aku tak tahu harus menjawab apa, karena aku tidak pernah mau sekolah.
Dia bertanya. Rumahku di mana?
Aku tak tahu, apakah rumah yang aku tinggali ini rumahku, atau rumah sakit jiwa millenium.
Dia bertanya. Aku ini siapa?
Aku sendiri tak tahu siapa aku. Aku memang punya nama. Tapi aku tidak pernah tahu siapa aku.
Dia bertanya. Bagaimana hidupku?
Aku tidak tahu apa itu hidup, karena aku tidak pernah bisa menikmati hidupku.
Hidupku rasanya dirampas orang lain.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku punya rencana?
Aku sampai lupa tidak memikirkan itu. Rencanaku tidak diberi semangat. Rencanaku tidak direstui.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku cinta padanya?
Aku sendiri tidak tahu siapa yang kucintai. Setiap orang yang kucintai selalu membenciku, memanfaatkan aku, dan menghianatiku. Aku tidak tahu cinta itu bagaimana.
Dia bertanya. Di mana teman-temanmu?
Aku tidak tahu. Begitu bertemu saja mereka langsung menilaiku yang tidak-tidak dan menganggap aku ini aneh. Sepertinya aku ini benar-benar kriminal.
Dia bertanya. Apa kau menyerah?
Aku tidak tahu. Aku benar-benar tidak tahu, apakah aku menyerah atau tidak. Yang jelas, aku capai. Capai sekali menghadapi mereka orang-orang asing.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku sudah gila?
Ya! Aku gila! Hahaha..!! Hahaha..!!
Dari sepuluh pertanyaan di atas, ternyata hanya pertanyaan terakhir yang bisa kujawab dengan tegas dan senang.
Mereka tidak bisa menolongku.
Lalu Tuhan?
Di mana pertolongan Tuhan?
Bukannya aku sudah tidak sabar lagi menunggu pertolongan dari Tuhan.
Tapi aku sudah tidak kuat.
Aku sudah gila.
Sekarang aku benar-benar sudah 100% gila.
Edan.
Tidak waras.
Aku tak tahu harus menjawab bagaimana. Bapak dan ibu seperti bukan bapak dan ibuku.
Dia bertanya. Aku sekolah di mana?
Aku tak tahu harus menjawab apa, karena aku tidak pernah mau sekolah.
Dia bertanya. Rumahku di mana?
Aku tak tahu, apakah rumah yang aku tinggali ini rumahku, atau rumah sakit jiwa millenium.
Dia bertanya. Aku ini siapa?
Aku sendiri tak tahu siapa aku. Aku memang punya nama. Tapi aku tidak pernah tahu siapa aku.
Dia bertanya. Bagaimana hidupku?
Aku tidak tahu apa itu hidup, karena aku tidak pernah bisa menikmati hidupku.
Hidupku rasanya dirampas orang lain.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku punya rencana?
Aku sampai lupa tidak memikirkan itu. Rencanaku tidak diberi semangat. Rencanaku tidak direstui.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku cinta padanya?
Aku sendiri tidak tahu siapa yang kucintai. Setiap orang yang kucintai selalu membenciku, memanfaatkan aku, dan menghianatiku. Aku tidak tahu cinta itu bagaimana.
Dia bertanya. Di mana teman-temanmu?
Aku tidak tahu. Begitu bertemu saja mereka langsung menilaiku yang tidak-tidak dan menganggap aku ini aneh. Sepertinya aku ini benar-benar kriminal.
Dia bertanya. Apa kau menyerah?
Aku tidak tahu. Aku benar-benar tidak tahu, apakah aku menyerah atau tidak. Yang jelas, aku capai. Capai sekali menghadapi mereka orang-orang asing.
Dia bertanya. Apa aku sudah gila?
Ya! Aku gila! Hahaha..!! Hahaha..!!
Dari sepuluh pertanyaan di atas, ternyata hanya pertanyaan terakhir yang bisa kujawab dengan tegas dan senang.
Mereka tidak bisa menolongku.
Lalu Tuhan?
Di mana pertolongan Tuhan?
Bukannya aku sudah tidak sabar lagi menunggu pertolongan dari Tuhan.
Tapi aku sudah tidak kuat.
Aku sudah gila.
Sekarang aku benar-benar sudah 100% gila.
Edan.
Tidak waras.
KRIMINAL BARU
| Labels: cerpen bahasa indo, harian | 0 comments
Kemaren habis makan malam steak Kalkun di resto BIMA, di mobil aku sempet cerita sama 'keluarga ceria meragukan'. Semuanya pada dengerin. Padahal aku ngomongnya cuman sama Bapakku...
Aku bilang gini : "Pah, aku utang lagi limaratus ribu. Kemaren malem aku belanja CD di Amazon. Nanti kalo kirimannya udah dateng aku bayar utangnya."
Eh ternyata sampe hari ini, itu jadi masalah 'keluarga ceria meragukan'...
Tadi siang, aku ketemu Bapakku dan bapakku bilang, "Kemaren harusnya kamu gak usah bilang-bilang kalo kamu blanja pake mastercardku."
Terus aku nanyak sama Bapakku, "Emangnya kenapa? Papah dimarahin sama Mami?"
Bapakku njawabnya rada gitu lah..., "Ya iya. Harusnya khan gak usah blanja-blanja di internet lagi. Mami bilang kalo itu sama aja tindakan kriminal. Katanya Mami, 'Berani-beraninya tu anak blanja make duit yang bukan duitnya! Jadi kriminal kok gak sembuh-sembuh!' "
Trus aku jelas-jelas bisa ngejawab lancar, "Lho? Kok kriminal? Aku khan bilang, ngaku, jujur, kalo aku blanja pake mastercardnya Papah. Lagian aku khan nanti ganti duitnya. Kalo kriminal mah maen sembunyi-sembunyi & gak ganti duitnya. Piye tho..."
Bapak diem aja...
"Gak jadi kok blanjanya, Pah. Kemaren aku dapet imel dari amazon, kalo paymentnya ditolak.."
Bapak gak mudeng...
"Blanjanya gagal, kok."
*Conversation end*
(Aku masih heran nih sampe sekarang. Kok bisa disebut KRIMINAL sih???)
Ah, whatta fuck! Gitu aja dipikirin... HUAHAHAHAHAH!!
So....
Selamat!!! Ada KRIMINAL baru di sini! Hahahaha.
Aku udah sukses jadi KRIMINAL!
Horeeee!!!
Hahahahahh!!!!
Hayoooo!!! Siapa yang mau punya temen KRIMINAL????
Tobat daang.. Tobat....
Aku bilang gini : "Pah, aku utang lagi limaratus ribu. Kemaren malem aku belanja CD di Amazon. Nanti kalo kirimannya udah dateng aku bayar utangnya."
Eh ternyata sampe hari ini, itu jadi masalah 'keluarga ceria meragukan'...
Tadi siang, aku ketemu Bapakku dan bapakku bilang, "Kemaren harusnya kamu gak usah bilang-bilang kalo kamu blanja pake mastercardku."
Terus aku nanyak sama Bapakku, "Emangnya kenapa? Papah dimarahin sama Mami?"
Bapakku njawabnya rada gitu lah..., "Ya iya. Harusnya khan gak usah blanja-blanja di internet lagi. Mami bilang kalo itu sama aja tindakan kriminal. Katanya Mami, 'Berani-beraninya tu anak blanja make duit yang bukan duitnya! Jadi kriminal kok gak sembuh-sembuh!' "
Trus aku jelas-jelas bisa ngejawab lancar, "Lho? Kok kriminal? Aku khan bilang, ngaku, jujur, kalo aku blanja pake mastercardnya Papah. Lagian aku khan nanti ganti duitnya. Kalo kriminal mah maen sembunyi-sembunyi & gak ganti duitnya. Piye tho..."
Bapak diem aja...
"Gak jadi kok blanjanya, Pah. Kemaren aku dapet imel dari amazon, kalo paymentnya ditolak.."
Bapak gak mudeng...
"Blanjanya gagal, kok."
*Conversation end*
(Aku masih heran nih sampe sekarang. Kok bisa disebut KRIMINAL sih???)
Ah, whatta fuck! Gitu aja dipikirin... HUAHAHAHAHAH!!
So....
Selamat!!! Ada KRIMINAL baru di sini! Hahahaha.
Aku udah sukses jadi KRIMINAL!
Horeeee!!!
Hahahahahh!!!!
Hayoooo!!! Siapa yang mau punya temen KRIMINAL????
Tobat daang.. Tobat....
MEETING WITH AN OLD FRIEND
| Labels: cerpen bahasa inggris | 0 comments
What a hot night today. The air, the breeze. The rain has stopped. I though it would be cold these days because it is rainy season. But hell. I don't give a fuck about that. I might think to get a perfect blood for me this night. Still waiting for Damian, and I am boring to do that. Waiting is not a lucky time for me. Why wait? I met Damian last night and he wants to spend a several day going out with me. Why did it happen? I will tell now...
Well, I remember what I've done last night. Walked around the city and being fed in a silent flower market. I drank a fresh young boy's blood, thank god. No one found me there, no one knew. Just like my everyday life. A few moment I finish my dinner, I saw my old friend came to me. Damian, my vamp friend from Mersailles. I remember yesterday, when I gave him and Rey a present. I hope he would satisfied with that. No complaining.
Damian came to see me and greet. He looks pretty weird like always.
He said, "I don't believe it, Ari. You gave me a robot! A toy for kids, and you gave Rey a cheap walkie-talkie."
I replied, "That's my present. Don't you like it?"
He didn't answer, just looked at me with his cold smile.
After that we left the flower market and sat on the top of the bank building. Damian didn't speak too much that time. I knew him. I know his story. He is the prince of darkness from France, Marseilles, who never has his loving immortal mother, Daye.
Damian and me never see each other, after his short death. Damian has been slept over 15 years, I suppose. Charly told me that. He's been lost his power for a such a succumb defeat, because he chose to fight Ira to get Daye back as his immortal mother. Ira won the fight. Ira took all his power and made him sleep for a long time in his coffin. For that, he needs a long time to get his dark power back....
That was long time a go. Now, I'm happy to see him arise again. He's not dead. And he never dies..
When he complained to me in 18 century, I gave him a terrible advice.
I said, "Well, Mian. I understand your situation. But what you want, I think is a dream. You'd never get Daye back to your arm from Ira's hand. Daye decided to be Ira's slave. Ira is her maker. Even she wants you, she would never leave Ira for you."
Too bad. Damian chose to fight Ira and he failed to keep Daye in his arm. Daye might be his mortal mother when he was a mortal. And she might be his immortal mother too because she made him and put him to this darkness. But she won't be his immortal mother like when she is his mortal. She's a vamp slave, what can I tell...
Hmm, let's forget the past. All over now, and we have a new life to go on.
That night after we sat there and felt the night air, we went back to my dark room. I don't know how long the last time he saw my room. A lot of changes. We were in my room, and he mumbled...
"What the hell happen with your bed?" he said.
"My bed? I don't need it again now," I answered.
"Hell, Ari! You put a coffin here and remove your bed from your room! You're not one of us!" he shouted with surprise.
"How dare you to say I'm not one of you!" I shouted back. "You saw me drink mortal's blood in the flower market. How could you say I'm not one of you!"
"You did all of this because you disappointed with your dream, didn't you?" he asked with a slow voice.
"What dream?" I asked him and then we trapped in silence.
He didn't respond me. But I know what he thought about. He thought that, for me, he's not real. He's only my dream, and we don't deserve to be together like friends do.
And then, I said, "If you're not real, why did you came to me and speak to me? Why I could see you? We're vamps, Mian. Although we never speak to each other we can read minds. I can read your mind, you can read mine too."
"I configure that an old crap." he said with a low voice.
He sat there in the marble desk. Looked at me like I'm not real. I didn't notice his looks. I sat on the chair and turned on my computer. The only smart machine I always hang with at night, after my dinner on the street drinking human's blood.
"You never quit doing it, do you?" Damian asked, I felt an anger in his voice.
"Doing what?" I sighed.
"Telling our stories to mortals."
"What's wrong with that? They thought we're fake," I explained.
"Would you stop? Stop writing that bullshit, Ari. Stop now!"
"Why stop? Writing this shit is my number one job, Mian."
I insisted.
Once again, I looked deep in his eyes. I read his mind and I felt something. He has reason. That's why he came to me that night.
"Okay. What do you want?" at last, I decided to hear his explanation.
"Take a break for a while, Ari. You are a vamp computer addict! Can you see? I came here to offer you an exciting trip."
"A trip again?" I said, and then I took a deep breath.
"You never go to Vanilla desert with me again after you spent your time with that fucking computer. We never go to the 'Fang's Bar', we never see the vamp operas. What's the matter with you? You always see and read mortals from the internet! You're humanized!"
He damn right. I should forget this for a while. I need a long vacation with him, or my other paramours. I should stop...for a while..I think...
"Go with me. Will you?"
I didn't answer, I thought of something.
"For God's sake, You're a vamp! Not a mortal!"
He made me think twice. Yes. I'm a vamp, I'm almost mortal. And I think, Damian came here to warn me before I go deep inside the mortal's world.
"Come on! We go, and we'll have fun! Playing fool in the dark, flying over the mountains, drinking more than 3 mortals at night, attending some cool vamp-party at the club. And visiting the others. How's that?"
After I have my last decision, I smiled and said, "Yes. I will go!"
I've stopped...
For a while...
I'm tired to be a fake mortal...
Well, I remember what I've done last night. Walked around the city and being fed in a silent flower market. I drank a fresh young boy's blood, thank god. No one found me there, no one knew. Just like my everyday life. A few moment I finish my dinner, I saw my old friend came to me. Damian, my vamp friend from Mersailles. I remember yesterday, when I gave him and Rey a present. I hope he would satisfied with that. No complaining.
Damian came to see me and greet. He looks pretty weird like always.
He said, "I don't believe it, Ari. You gave me a robot! A toy for kids, and you gave Rey a cheap walkie-talkie."
I replied, "That's my present. Don't you like it?"
He didn't answer, just looked at me with his cold smile.
After that we left the flower market and sat on the top of the bank building. Damian didn't speak too much that time. I knew him. I know his story. He is the prince of darkness from France, Marseilles, who never has his loving immortal mother, Daye.
Damian and me never see each other, after his short death. Damian has been slept over 15 years, I suppose. Charly told me that. He's been lost his power for a such a succumb defeat, because he chose to fight Ira to get Daye back as his immortal mother. Ira won the fight. Ira took all his power and made him sleep for a long time in his coffin. For that, he needs a long time to get his dark power back....
That was long time a go. Now, I'm happy to see him arise again. He's not dead. And he never dies..
When he complained to me in 18 century, I gave him a terrible advice.
I said, "Well, Mian. I understand your situation. But what you want, I think is a dream. You'd never get Daye back to your arm from Ira's hand. Daye decided to be Ira's slave. Ira is her maker. Even she wants you, she would never leave Ira for you."
Too bad. Damian chose to fight Ira and he failed to keep Daye in his arm. Daye might be his mortal mother when he was a mortal. And she might be his immortal mother too because she made him and put him to this darkness. But she won't be his immortal mother like when she is his mortal. She's a vamp slave, what can I tell...
Hmm, let's forget the past. All over now, and we have a new life to go on.
That night after we sat there and felt the night air, we went back to my dark room. I don't know how long the last time he saw my room. A lot of changes. We were in my room, and he mumbled...
"What the hell happen with your bed?" he said.
"My bed? I don't need it again now," I answered.
"Hell, Ari! You put a coffin here and remove your bed from your room! You're not one of us!" he shouted with surprise.
"How dare you to say I'm not one of you!" I shouted back. "You saw me drink mortal's blood in the flower market. How could you say I'm not one of you!"
"You did all of this because you disappointed with your dream, didn't you?" he asked with a slow voice.
"What dream?" I asked him and then we trapped in silence.
He didn't respond me. But I know what he thought about. He thought that, for me, he's not real. He's only my dream, and we don't deserve to be together like friends do.
And then, I said, "If you're not real, why did you came to me and speak to me? Why I could see you? We're vamps, Mian. Although we never speak to each other we can read minds. I can read your mind, you can read mine too."
"I configure that an old crap." he said with a low voice.
He sat there in the marble desk. Looked at me like I'm not real. I didn't notice his looks. I sat on the chair and turned on my computer. The only smart machine I always hang with at night, after my dinner on the street drinking human's blood.
"You never quit doing it, do you?" Damian asked, I felt an anger in his voice.
"Doing what?" I sighed.
"Telling our stories to mortals."
"What's wrong with that? They thought we're fake," I explained.
"Would you stop? Stop writing that bullshit, Ari. Stop now!"
"Why stop? Writing this shit is my number one job, Mian."
I insisted.
Once again, I looked deep in his eyes. I read his mind and I felt something. He has reason. That's why he came to me that night.
"Okay. What do you want?" at last, I decided to hear his explanation.
"Take a break for a while, Ari. You are a vamp computer addict! Can you see? I came here to offer you an exciting trip."
"A trip again?" I said, and then I took a deep breath.
"You never go to Vanilla desert with me again after you spent your time with that fucking computer. We never go to the 'Fang's Bar', we never see the vamp operas. What's the matter with you? You always see and read mortals from the internet! You're humanized!"
He damn right. I should forget this for a while. I need a long vacation with him, or my other paramours. I should stop...for a while..I think...
"Go with me. Will you?"
I didn't answer, I thought of something.
"For God's sake, You're a vamp! Not a mortal!"
He made me think twice. Yes. I'm a vamp, I'm almost mortal. And I think, Damian came here to warn me before I go deep inside the mortal's world.
"Come on! We go, and we'll have fun! Playing fool in the dark, flying over the mountains, drinking more than 3 mortals at night, attending some cool vamp-party at the club. And visiting the others. How's that?"
After I have my last decision, I smiled and said, "Yes. I will go!"
I've stopped...
For a while...
I'm tired to be a fake mortal...
Makan tu sukses!!!
| Labels: my song lyrics | 0 comments
Suaraku
Laguku
Nyanyiku
Untukmu
Tawaku
Candaku
Riangku
Untukmu
Kamarku
Rumahku
Uangku
Untukmu
Tapi tangisku
Sedihku
Dukaku
Semua susahku
Hanya untuk diriku sendiri
Kini ku bahagia 3X
Ah..
Makan tuh sukses
daripada kamu terus luntang luntung hidup yang enggak beres
Makan tuh sukses
sekarang kamu bisa bergaya cuek bebek
Huh! Makan tuh sukses!
Laguku
Nyanyiku
Untukmu
Tawaku
Candaku
Riangku
Untukmu
Kamarku
Rumahku
Uangku
Untukmu
Tapi tangisku
Sedihku
Dukaku
Semua susahku
Hanya untuk diriku sendiri
Kini ku bahagia 3X
Ah..
Makan tuh sukses
daripada kamu terus luntang luntung hidup yang enggak beres
Makan tuh sukses
sekarang kamu bisa bergaya cuek bebek
Huh! Makan tuh sukses!
November! Banyak yang ultah nih!
| Labels: harian | 0 comments
Happy b-day buat Mas Adi..
Happy b-day buat DD CROW
Happy b-day buat Momcilo Cickaric
Happy b-day buat Nvi Koploh(Rival)
Happy b-day buat ponakan gue, Damian (Bukan Damian de Morgue lho! Haha..)
Siapa lagi yang ulang taun? Selamat aja deh!
Happy b-day buat DD CROW
Happy b-day buat Momcilo Cickaric
Happy b-day buat Nvi Koploh(Rival)
Happy b-day buat ponakan gue, Damian (Bukan Damian de Morgue lho! Haha..)
Siapa lagi yang ulang taun? Selamat aja deh!
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