Down

I feel a lot of thing in my mind right now...
Such as...
I don't know when will I online again, I hope I can be online all the time but I can't, I don't know for how long.
And,
I'm so deeply totally very very sad that... I'll leave my favorite room, my house, my neighborhood for long.
Importantly...
I'm so very god damn mother fucking sad that I will not spending my time again infront of my computer in my room, doing what I usually do, my fun time for the rest of my life. I'm so very god damn fucking sad about it, god damn it!!!
But I have no choice...
I have to...
So...
Fuck!!!
Fuck it!!!
I'll do something hard and it's important for many people...
Whether I can do it or not, I'll do it the best I can, even though I have to change my style or change myself to be someone else I don't recognize...
I'll try to do that, if I have to. Cuz it's the only way for me to continue this life...
That's the point...
When I'm struggling to raise it, I'll absolutely remember that I have their support, their help and also their attention, so I won't be down too easily...
I always believe that God will help me, no matter what happens...
Keep struggling...
I hope I can do it...
I really hope for it...
I want to have more courage and strenght to do it...
I must...
Your blessing, please... my God...