Miss Ya Old Friend

Today, my friend VAN gave me a little shoutout in his BLOG...

Duet With Peni Candrarini

TABURI
Lirik: Boby Budi Santosa
Vokal: Idang & Peni Candrarini
Guitar & Bass: Boby Budi Santosa
Keyboard: Heri
Drums: Dodyt

Lahirnya manusia, awalnya sebuah harapan
Seperti bintang-bintang, terang
Menyebar hiasi malam

Manusia berbeda, adat suku dan bahasanya
Kulit juga berbeda, warna
Kita tetap saudara

Dunia seisinya, merajut semua rahasia
Yang takkan bisa terpecahkan dalam
Berjuta tahun lamanya

Taburi, taburi
Dunia dengan kasih cinta
Kita, bersaudara
Damai abadi semuanya

Indahnya perbedaan, sesuai dengan adanya alam
Kita harus menjaga, hhhhmmmm
sekarang, selamanya

Dunia seisinya, merajut semua rahasia
Yang takkan bisa terpecahkan dalam
Berjuta tahun lamanya

Taburi, taburi
Dunia dengan kasih cinta
Kita, bersaudara
Damai abadi semuanya

Bila manusia dapat lepaskan semua perbedaan di dalam hidup ini
Dunia jadi berarti

Taburi, taburi
Dunia dengan kasih cinta
Kita, bersaudara
Damai dan abadi

Taburi, taburi
Dunia dengan kasih cinta
Kita, bersaudara
Damai abadi selamanya

Taburi, taburi
Dunia dengan kasih cinta
Kita, bersaudara
Damai abadi semuanya
Semuanya
Damai abadi selamanya

download lagu:
http://www.mediafire.com/?3ub6qea1my17ab1

Dulu temen, sekarang pacar. Hehehe...

:)))))

Not a single anymore

Today...
All finally clear...
He loves me and I love him...

Down

I feel a lot of thing in my mind right now...
Such as...
I don't know when will I online again, I hope I can be online all the time but I can't, I don't know for how long.
And,
I'm so deeply totally very very sad that... I'll leave my favorite room, my house, my neighborhood for long.
Importantly...
I'm so very god damn mother fucking sad that I will not spending my time again infront of my computer in my room, doing what I usually do, my fun time for the rest of my life. I'm so very god damn fucking sad about it, god damn it!!!
But I have no choice...
I have to...
So...
Fuck!!!
Fuck it!!!
I'll do something hard and it's important for many people...
Whether I can do it or not, I'll do it the best I can, even though I have to change my style or change myself to be someone else I don't recognize...
I'll try to do that, if I have to. Cuz it's the only way for me to continue this life...
That's the point...
When I'm struggling to raise it, I'll absolutely remember that I have their support, their help and also their attention, so I won't be down too easily...
I always believe that God will help me, no matter what happens...
Keep struggling...
I hope I can do it...
I really hope for it...
I want to have more courage and strenght to do it...
I must...
Your blessing, please... my God...

Can't Lite You Fire

Hardest day
Here I am
I fight to follow other way
And start to try the other hand
I wish we all could be like what they want
With no insult from their mouth

Just be with me
Understand my vision is so different
I couldn't raise it up for you
Cuz that's all I have
I try the best I can all the time
Work it hard a lot
And I always feel that I'm so desperate
to keep my soul just for myself
Cuz I

Can't light you fire
Sorry I
Can't light you fire
Maybe my destiny is not like what you have in your fucking mind
Can't light you fire
Sorry I
Can't light you fire
But I will always try hard to get our victory to raise it all along the way

I can't work it with your soul
I can't light it all for you
I'm wasted, no more fantasy, and every single day I love untill I die
It pissing me off, it tearing me down
And then I feel like you wreck all my way
But I can't stop cuz you give me your deadly way to win the game

Can't light you fire
Sorry I
Can't light you fire
Maybe my destiny is not like what you have in your fucking mind
Can't light you fire
Sorry I
Can't light you fire
But I will always try hard to get our victory to raise it all along the way

Can't light you fire

see song full info

Tararat Tira

Lirik: DD Crow
Guitar & Backing vokal: DD Crow
Cello: Mas siapa ya? Kok aku lupa namanya...

Hari ini, esok pagi, nanti
Aku rindu, aku butuh kekasih
Slamat pagi, slamat sore, jangan lagi
Jangan mimpi, walau sepi, walau mimpi
Walau tak bercinta, kau slalu hadir di dalam hati

Tararat Tira, tararat tira
Tarararit
Tararat Tira, tararat tira
Tarararit
Tararat Tira, tararari

Hari ini, esok pagi, atau nanti
Aku rindu, aku masih, masih butuh, kekasih
Slamat sore, slamat pagi, jangan lagi
Jangan mimpi, walau sepi, walau mimpi
Walau tak bercinta, kau slalu hadir di dalam hati

Tararat Tira, tararat tira
Tarararit
Tararat Tira, tararat tira
Tarararit
Tararat Tira, tararari

download song:
http://www.mediafire.com/?1mm9zi1vgac2vsu

Jason Mraz Cover - You Make Me High (Acoustic)

Got a new vocalized Jason Mraz Cover - You Make Me High. Download it here to listen...

A Slow Rebel Flow

Nothing now
So don't go away

So full of sickness, inside my brain
My head keep moving, the direction I want
It's okay if you don't understand, what's in my mind
I know that, this is the sound you don't want to hear
Moving inside, my mouth could talking on despair of my soul
Inside the pain, in my brain
All the faces get away
I try to talk about the way
Then they don't know the way
Am I wrong or am I right?
I just keep going with my way
Keep going, keep going with my way
Keep going, no matter what they say
Keep going
Keep going
Keep floating
Flowing, and flying

I don't think it's ridiculous
I don't think it is

Inside my heart is the way to destroy
Destroy what?
Always a question in my brain
They get away, I don't care
They here to stay, I don't care
They hate my way, I don't care
Do I ever care?
Looking with the sadness in my brain
There's a lot of pain coming in
I don't know the way begin
To start make them leave my pain
I don't know the way to go
But I still want to flow
I always want to fly and I just want to try
Yeah
I just want to try
I just want to try
I just want to try
I just
I just want to try
I just want to try
I just want to try
I just want to try
And I cry

1st version
2nd version

I Can't Believe

I finally see your weakness
I can't believe
I'm so sorry I have to turn you down
I can't follow your way
I know it from the first time
When I found out that you're so stupid
Well
That's what I see you
You know what?
I don't wanna see you
Showing that you're the best thing
In fact you are just a dumb

I can't believe
When you never down
I can't believe
When you force me to
I can't believe it
I can't believe

I can't believe it
I can't believe
I can't believe it
I can't believe

download

Push Me Smooth Deeply Until...

Pretty fuck
You give to me
Whole stab you can
In to me
I let you to groove on
Undress me alive
And
I let you lead your pretty mind
to free wash over mine
I wish
A lust for a core
You could open up
You open me
Push me smooth deeply
Until I could feel you inside of my mind
You push me again, slip on the time
And I get no time to stop you anymore
to control me

Put off our clothes and our underwear
Sitting on the rough
And we're making...
full of love to fun and on and on and on again
Ouw ouw
Feel it as one
Until we make this sound

see song full info

Kosheen Cover - Pride (Acoustic)

ke T.K.P

Save Me The Time & Hold Me Love

Save Me The Time

Saving all your time to me
Take it flow and follow me
Waiting for something to show
Oh Oh Oh

I will find the story of you
Just the way to know
Call me now before it's too late
Oh Oh Oh

Don't let me down again
Overtime and time
Save me the time
Let's do something
Call me now again
Roll inside the sound
Save me the time
Well...

Don't let me down again
Overtime and time
Save me the time
Let's do something
Call me now again
Roll inside the sound
Save me the time
Save the time
Don't...
Let me down again
Overtime and time
Save me the time
Save the time
Call me now again
Roll inside the sound
Save me the time
Well

Saving all your time to me
Take it flow and follow me
Waiting for something to show
Oh Oh Oh


Hold Me Love

Feel me flying on the air
Trying not to fall in
Keep myself just for my love, I swear
Free myself to home again
I don't want to fall in
Keep myself just for my love, I swear

Just by playing picture views
To remind me of you
Stronger feeling I could get from you
I know you are not around
Three times flight to catch
Someday we will rise and shine, I swear

Feel like you hold me in my arms
And you hold me in my soul
Feel like you hold me, love
Oh oh
Hold me, love
Hold me, don't go

Day dreaming with the sound
Feel so alone
Smoke a few, it's not so bad
That's the only way to get
More attention to catch
The feeling for the thing of love

Feel like you hold me in my arms
And you hold me in my soul
Feel like you hold me, love
Oh oh
Hold me, love
Hold me, don't go

I wish I could be in your dream
Every time you sleep
I wish you could be in my dream
Every time I sleep

All I Have

All I have was there
But I took a wrong way
They have given all they've got
Then I turned it down

Always hope on the moonlite night
Feel it shine so bright
Never thought of the pain inside
Free to go on the ride

Finally no one cares
All become so peaceful - but
Sometimes they're back to bring the crowd
Put it all inside my head

Always hope on the moonlite night
Feel it shine so bright
I decided to - never think of the pain inside
Free to go on the ride
And I finally found the way out
The way out
The way out of here
And I finally found the way out
The way out
The way out of here
Way out of here

Don't Let Yourself Blinding

Erase me from your fucking mind
From your fucking life
I deserve to take all
Come on come on
Why don't you bury me alive

Mirror mirror on the wall
Probably you are right
I am not the prettiest from most of all
You can see me from inside
How deep is your heart
Know me for who I am

Don't let your self blinding by your own fake judgment
Cuz it would make me erase my self from this world
Don't let your self blinding by your own fake judgment
Cuz it would make me erase my self from this world
I don't care who's mistake
Just want to say I'm sorry, say I'm sorry
I can't fullfil your desire cuz it's not my wish
I swear to God I'll beg you to forgive me
And I'll never care who's mistake
Who's mistake?
Who's mistake?
Don't let your self blinding by your own fake judgment
Cuz it would make me erase my self from this world
Don't let your self blinding by your own fake judgment
Cuz it would make me erase my self from this world

see song full info

Placebo Cover - Bruise Pristine (Acoustic)

Check out my Placebo Cover Bruise Pristine (Acoustic Version), download it here to listen...

Thrice Cover - Trust

This is acoustic version of Thrice's song, Trust, renew today... download it

Imlek Duh

Today I realize that I am just receiving some changing in me. The things between me & my Dad seem like fixed. Then I think about "How did it happen?" I know how, but not sure... Probably I have done something right or wrong? But the truth is... it works. I know my Dad always feels dissatisfied or mad about me, or complaining about my guilt. My Dad would never hear something about me from my own mouth, because we never can speak to each other very well. He only knows me from those peoples & always took what people think (of me) without thinking that something from those people right or wrong. WRONG. They spoke 89% wrong about me & I know what my Dad felt for it... Yeah, it stressed him out. But everything is different now. It's not like that anymore. It's just because I have picked the right way to do. The point is... being away from the people is saving my life. While you never meet more people, only a little of them would talk bad things about you. Maybe they won't talk about you at all because you never showing off or make a move (like some of my close friends said, "You just working on the music and let them hear, that is how to show the feeling if they want to know you.") Some of them think it's not strange because they understand... I do realize too that I'm not really good at music thingy, I couldn't even sing very like them professionals. Fuck that!
I just want to keep straight to it... The way I chose to not get involved to the real world socialize with more people, the way I chose to not be a big mouth around people, the way I chose to sacrifice, the way I chose to keep myself lock & many other ways I chose as long as I never get easy to trust people whoever it is... It works... For what I did & still do now, nobody talks bad about me so my Dad doesn't hear anything bad come from their fucking mouth, the set up or the fake ones... To stop the move is very pointfull to me, it could kill the pain. Beware of people who couldn't be trust...
Since that, my Dad never complain to me again & I feel the miracle when I meet him... I would love to tell more about it, but I don't know how to tell... it's... well... Right now I feel that no one care for me anymore except my Dad.... He does, care about me. We never talk or have long discussion or do the way Father & Child talk like (because of we have different thoughts, different opinion, different will, actually I ever spoke to him heart to heart before, but then I stopped because he didn't support my musical work & he didn't like other stuff I love).
While I am with my Dad, the whole situation is more close to the silence.
Now seems that the biggest problem has changed suddenly. I always felt that my Dad was forcing me in the past, but now I feel things are different. By looking what had happened lately with only looking at his eyes & caught his generosity, or feel his presence when he's next to me, knowing that both of us are fine & healthy, somehow I feel so... happy, I guess. I can really feel that he really loves me & cares about me. I just felt it & I know it's true.
Mostly, I meet him only 3 times a week when he's on the break (he has his important family to taking care of & I'm so sad that I couldn't live with him, duh!). No activity when we're together. We're just sitting, working our own stuff. I use to draw something on his note while I sit in his office & he uses to face his computer playing his favorite game, solitaire (I like playing solitaire too & I'm glad we have same common).
I'm unsure about something too... but I hardly don't want to think about it. It's about... maybe my Dad is tired to talk to me because I had been a stubborn. Maybe he's tired to tell me what to do because I never could do all he had said. Anyway, I feel so light when I never hear from him again about I should finish school or I should stop doing the music business & other stuff he doesn't like, or I shouldn't date someone he hate... Never hear stuff like that anymore. No more forcing, arguing, bad gossip, black sheep and stuff... thank God (Huh, I shouldn't say that).
Shit, a question just popped!!! Maybe what make me starting to feel comfortable while I'm with my Dad because of... nobody loves me anymore? Friends or brother or relatives I use to meet everyday, some of them are making me sick. I don't care about that. I don't hate them. I'm just feel glad that I'm still have nice friends, they're being good to me, I just hardly couldn't meet them more often because they belong to some good colony while I'm still holding in the colony that never goes up better...
What in my mind right now is... I must spend more time with Dad although we never talk, just be with him in the time I have, before I die. I must be regret my life if I waste that time. Right now, be with him is better than I'm being with them...
I did, ever said FUCK YOU DAD!!! But I love my Dad so so so much...
He's happy with his important family & I never cause troubles. I am his daughter but I'm not too important compare with his family. Sometimes I think, where's my family? No more. Anyways, I can still meeting my Dad. I'm happy for it...

LUPA

selama ini aku tidak pernah sadar tentang apa yang kulakukan saat ini, tiba-tiba saja aku melupakan keinginanku yang dulu dan aku kembali mengingatnya lagi. selama aku melupakan keinginanku itu, aku sama sekali tidak pernah berpikir tentang keinginanku itu lagi, dan apa yang kulakukan setelah aku melupakan keinginanku membuatku terasa seperti hidup di dalam dunia mimpi,... apa sebenarnya yang kulakukan sekarang? kadang-kadang terasa sangat mengagetkan dan aku tak tahu apakah itu membuatku senang atau tidak