Good Words

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i am very upset. not just upset. angry - mad – want to smash you in the face until your head no longer stick again on your neck !

i swear - i'll rape you - so nasty and wild with my evil torturing way – treat you like a bitch - i swear i will! i'll do it without mercy – i don't care if you scream to death for that ! i'm very mad ! fuck !!


Those are awesome words, seriously... I love it... Fuckin love it...

A Short Ritual For Our Loving Friend

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I was at Rouen’s chamber yesterday. We’re still waiting friends to come. They said they would come and start a ritual, to cure one of our wounded friends. I arrived early in the chamber. I saw him there, couldn’t move, but could talk well. What he asked first was my condition. He always wanted to know that. To know what I feel and where I have been. He is the only one who admitted truly about my human reality hatred. He always says to me to keep it up because it is impossible that we could gather our life with them, the human.
I don’t know where to start to write a little about him. He is different. He is the one who could break the spell and safe from harm.
“We have not met each other a little while,” he said. He couldn’t get up from his bed because he’s too weak.
“Yes,” I nodded. “How are you feeling, Rouen?”
“Weak. Did you make friends with them?” He meant the human.
“I’m not interested. Real world and humanity are still not too precious to me,” I said.
“You better stay human sometimes, you’re still young,” he took a deep breath. “I don’t have a power to get up to burn those incenses. Would you please?”
“OK.” I turned on the incenses in every corner of the room, with a different kind of fragrance.
15 minutes later, I heard steps. Zardaz came. He took a deep breath and sat down beside me. Well, Zardaz is always 20 years old in my vision and everyone. “I do not want to be late, the dawn is very terrifying as like you stick the torch straight to my face and burn my skin,” he looked at me suspicious. “You would not do that, would you, Shar?”
I shook my head, and then asked him; “How many of you will come to this room?”
He said, there would not be many, and he stated that a rebellious virja xotev like me deserve more friends like our kind to stay away from human social life and human reality.
“They will arrive soon. I can smell them from here,” Rouen guessed with eyes closed. Well, not just guessed. He’s damn right to say the name of our friends who would come that night.
“Well, Rouen. How weak you are, you still got it. The hidden power in your soul,” Zardaz said proudly.
About 10 minutes, they all came.
“I am sorry, we’re late,” they all said together. That’s amazing.
“No problem to be late. I’d be thankful to all of you, you finally come here in this darkened room,” Rouen replied.
“I don’t really like the smell of your chamber, Rouen. It’s very girly,” Duza said. I could have nearly age in the vision, just like Duza.
“What have you done with the room?” Duza asked me.
“Rouen wanted me to burn some incenses. What do you mean very girly?”
“Sick smelly flowering thing that come from those human girls, that’s what I mean,” he answered.
“If you trying to say that I’m also smell like those girls, you’re damn wrong,” I said harsh.
“Bah! Listen, Shar! You should change your name, that’s my name you use and you smell like those rats in the basement!” Duza would probably start a fight.
“What did you say?!” I’m kind of pissed off.
“Hey, I love the smell and the freshness here. Very naturist,” Mori said and then grinned at Duza. Mori loves fruity smell.
“What I’m trying to say is…”
“Don’t say, Duza. You were saying that Shar smells like grape fruit, not rats, but he didn’t know how to say it right,” Mori cut his words, huddle up my shoulder, placed my head on his shoulder and stick his nose to me neck. “Shar, you smell good.”
“You two! No bounding in this chamber, god damn alien sick bastards!” Duza shouted at me and Mori.
Zardaz laughed, “Well, nobody gives a fuck about Duza the stupid alien or what words coming from him, that’s why he never stop to get some attention. Maybe someone has to steal his ship and make him cry. What’s the big deal if every place smells like shit anyway? Do you get my point here, alien boy? Today is to safe Rouen.”
“Arrogant wild ugly alien devil is also trying to get attention here. I’ll knock you down soon. And you smell like those rats in the grave!” Duza yelled at Zardaz.
“I’ll kill you right away, stupid alien clown! Cut your throat and throw your head away from your body!”
“No can do, ugly alien devil! I’ll eat your heart first before you do that!”
“Do it now!” Zardaz said angrily. He landed a very hard laser punch straight to Duza’s face and the fight had just begun…
“Duza! Zardaz! Cut it out!” Mori tried to give them warning. “There’s no way to discuss unimportant conversation ended with fight here, at Rouen’s chamber. Do some respect please, both of you,” Mori tried to stop the conversation before our mouth fighting each other swearing nasty words.
“Fuck off, you alien sick bastard!” Duza yelled at Mori.
“Shit, please stop all of you,” Rouen said calmly. And then they all stop.
At last, we all gathered, sitting close to Rouen and face to each other. Rouen offered to all of us, who want to start first? He needs it from all of us, badly, reminding that time he was not healthy and losing some power.
“Not you, Shar. You are not the first.” Mori said to me.
Mori was the one who did it first. He cut his flesh and gave it to Rouen. And then the other started to join him, did the same thing, let Rouen ate our flesh. I was the last one. We could see how Rouen turned out to be better after that. The changing of his pale skin to healthy skin, red blushes on his face… and then, faster moves. It’s like a miracle. He suddenly got up from his bed and looked pretty fresh.“Be thankful to what you have got. You have saved me from hell and take me to heaven. Thanks a million,” he thanked to everybody, gave each of us a hug.

Old Activity

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Yay, one thing is reminding me a lot about my activities that left behind.
I don`t forget about the nature and other living creatures thoo. I never do it lately just becuz of what? I am more seeing and meeting people lately and that makes me forget about enjoying the moment with nature.

Last time was... I had time sitting in balcony cuz the weather outside was vvv hot. I looked at the full moon about 1 and a half hours, felt the wind blows, hearing the sound all around in the night, not so crowded thoo. It`s not crowded, but the sound of night creatures were calming... Just feel it... I enjoyed it, really... It`s not just that, but I did close my eyes for some minutes and felt the air around me too, gathered with the nature of night... Feel so good...

For me, doing that is more fun then hanging out with friends, that`s how I feel...
"Other people might think that it`s a stupid thing to do." I think it`s not stupid. It`s help me to relaxing a bit. To calm down and refresh my mind. I also believe if the moon or the stars or the sun can give us power when we look at it and feel it with much attention we could ever feel it deep inside. Probably you think that it so stupid, but not.

Nyway...
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!!!
I`ll be at home and not going anywhere tonight cuz, I`m sure that quiet perfect joint and relaxing is the best way to do this year ;)